Monday, June 29, 2009

Jon and Kate--who is the better parent?

I guess it is a matter of opinion. Neither one of them is going to win a gold star in my book, and I certainly DO NOT hold either up as an example of good parenting or a role model.



Seeing Jon outside playing Frisbee with his kids shows that at least he wants them to be able to act like kids (it may be argued that it's because Jon is a kid himself). Kate is too busy focusing on what's really important to her--Kate. Kate's needs. Kate's ambition. Kate's obsession with fame and money. She is a classic narcissist in that she sees her children as extensions of herself. She thinks that what is best for her is best for them. If Kate's happy, then her kids should be happy, right? Screw what anyone else in the family wants or needs.

She also has anger issues--look at the episode with "knobgate" in it. She throws a toy down the stairs while yelling at her kids for removing a knob from a piece of furniture. She also says, "I'm sick of this shit!" (although "shit") was edited out. To three year-olds. One of whom removed a knob that could easily have become unscrewed by itself with use---a child may've just touched the knob and it could've fallen off. This has happened in my house--no big deal. Screw or glue the knob back on--end of story. But to Kate, this was an excuse to vent her anger and frustration at being a mom to sextuplets and launching the Spanish Inquisition. OK--we've all "lost it" at one time or another--but over a KNOB??? Her anger isn't really about the "knob", I know--she's angry about her "stuff" getting damaged by her kids--that says, to me, that she places a higher value over things than people.

Same thing with the gum.
And the ice cream at Disney World.
And the washable markers at the Crayola Factory.
And being in a snit over the fondant and icing at the bakery.
And not letting the kids roll on the grass at the ice-cream place.

Deep down, I do think Kate loves her kids, but in a way that she sees the children as an extension and reflection of herself. They are like cute little props in HER life-- sort of a collection of little dolls that she can dress up and show off to the world. She has a hard time letting go of her own feelings and need for control and viewing her children as complex individuals with very distinct and individual needs of their own.
Kate spanking Leah: over blowing a whistle outside. Well then, don't give your kids whistles. Whistles make noise. No other use or purpose for them. The punishment should fit the crime, and IMO, spanking was too severe for this "crime." She could've PUT THE DAMN CELL PHONE DOWN and went over to Leah and taken the whistle away from her with a reprimand. Just another example of Kate's temper and over-reacting to life's irritations.

Financially, of course, Kate is more astute and shrewd than Jon. She is concerned about the family finances---but for whom? Is it really ALL for the kids? Do they really care about living in a 6200 sq. ft house as opposed to a 3500 sq. ft. one? Did the kids want her to have a boob job (allegedly) and cosmetic dental procedures? Tanning? C'mon--of course they don't care about that stuff. They want Mommy and Daddy spending time with them, and giving them unconditional love and support. Kate seems to believe that her kids need to live like rock stars because that what SHE wants and "needs."

So, Jon lacks ambition and drive--but seems to really enjoy his kids. No, he's not perfect, either.
Kate is so worried about keeping up appearances that she often seems to not enjoy the children.

So --who is the better parent? I guess that's a matter of opinion. Jon's the "funner" parent and Kate's more of a "manager." I hope for the kid's sake they can work out a balance between them and get them through the divorce with as little emotional trauma as possible. Here's hoping.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Reality Ratings Gold

Reality TV thrives on any controversy or drama--it's rating gold for there to be feuds, meltdowns, shouting matches, etc. Viewers want to see drama, intrigue, backstabbing and humiliation. So, of course, the story producers of these shows want people to have some sort of conflict--they don't really want people to just "all get along." Reality shows are NOT documentaries-- they don't merely document what is happening as an objective outside observer.
So, the Jon and Kate marriage drama--real? I'd say the problems between the two are very real--but did the producers of the show find a way to make lemonade out of lemons? Abso-fricken-lutely! Will they gauge the ratings and public response weekly and produce and edit future episode accordingly? You BET!
And what about Jon and Kate? Do they care what this is doing to their marriage and their family, or is the marriage pretty much dead anyway and they're just saying "Show me the money!"?

Unfortunately, the kids will have to live with the real aftermath of this debacle--they have no choice. Will the money really make everything better for the kids?