Jon & Kate Plus Eight-- The Milli Vanilli of Reality Shows?

I remember the big Milli Vanilli scandal--the duo that made videos and did appearances and received an award for being the best new artists of the year--- who did not sing anything on their recordings and lip-synced their performances. They did nothing except dance and "look" the part.
That's kind of how I view the show Jon & Kate + 8. They look the part-- cute kids, made-over Mom and Dad to be more telegenic--but it seems that less and less is "real" about this reality show. Kate is never home--only for filming, it seems-- or to be snapped by photogs when she is in town. Jon is home, but is assisted by nannies, cooks, landscapers, etc. He has been reported to be out and about at bars with young women in his "free time." And now, we learn, according to the popular press, that Jon and Kate are in a sham of a marriage. That, in fact, they can barely stand each other--but they are keeping up appearances for the sake of the show (subtext--MONEY).
They have presented themselves to middle America as an average, Christian family-- dealing with a large amount of children in a short time. What is the attraction here? They have sacrificed family --their own and extended familes-- for money and fame. Where is the "Christian" in this equation? Quoting Bible verses/Scripture does not make you a Christian. Actions speak louder than words, Jon and Kate. Do the right thing, for heaven's sake.

Gosselins in the Media--Facts or Publicity Stunt?

My husband seems to think much of what is being said in the media about the Gosselins recently is a publicity stunt to get more viewers for the new season of the show. I tend to believe it's a little bit of both-- I think there is truth behind some of the allegations-- and I also believe that the PR firm and network are milking it for all it's worth. Either way, it's a sad situation for those kids. Marriage and children be damned--full speed ahead! After all, there's ratings to be had, money to be made!

Those that defend the Gosselins say they NEED to do the show and book tour/speaking engagements to support their family. Oh yeah? How did large families do it before the advent of reality tv? How did my grandparents do it with 11 kids? My former neighbor had six kids-- she and her husband manage more than adequately. My other neighbor is the baby of eight kids--apparently she grew up just fine, with a house and family of her own.

Kate was a nurse, and Jon had an IT job with the Commonwealth of PA. They had a respectable home-- not large, but it was in a nice family neighborhood and had a yard. What dire straits were these two in that they absolutely HAD to exploit their children's childhoods?

The other justification is COLLEGE-- how are they going to pay for eight kids?
First of all, I doubt that ALL eight will choose college, --but if they do, the financial aid formulas take into account how many minors are living at home and how many siblings are in college at the same time. Penn State is a good university and the tuition for state residents isn't that bad, relatively. Kutztown University is even cheaper and has many fine programs as well. Actually, people with larger families who do not have multiples are in potentially worse shape for receiving financial aid than the Gosselins.
So please, gimme a break about the financial reasons--we all have financial issues these days.

Defenders of Kate say she's bitchy, but so what? She is bitchy because she has eight kids! Jon is lazy! Kate does everything! OK--Kate has NEVER done it all by herself--volunteers, family (in the past), a private nurse, helpers, nannies--she's had help from the very beginning, up to and including the present. And now she's rarely home, so who is taking care of the kids?
Jon's lazy? (As per the early episodes)--Who got up and got the twins ready for school and made Queen Kate her morning coffee, placing it on her nightstand for when she woke up at 8:30? Who came home from work and did bath and bedtime duties?Who did the vacuuming? Gassed up the vehicles because Kate never pumps gas?

Things I've seen Jon do:

Actually play with his kids--from play dough, to snow boarding with Cara, to going on all eight days out with the kids, getting all of the kids ready for ski-school in Utah and taking them (while Kate had a headache--but went to the spa nonetheless)

Put together the kid's beds (while Kate bitched)

Paint Cara and Mady's new room (while Kate, yet again, bitched)

Build shelves to organize the garage

Build the carnival stands for the tup's third birthday

Move the furniture and rip out the old carpet in the old house

Get the kids up and dressed on the weekends

Help pack and loads the van for their many trips and outings

Drive hither, tither, and yon

So how exactly, is this guy "LAZY"? He does more than many fathers do. He may lack motivation or ambition, but I wouldn't use the adjective "lazy." Kate even said in an early episode, "I'm the plan maker, and you're the plan DOER (pointing to Jon)".

Defenders say that Jon knew who he was marrying when he wed Kate--hmmmm...wasn't she sickeningly sweet and girl-like in the home videos before they were married? Also, couldn't the same be said about Kate? Didn't she know who Jon was when she married him? That he really wasn't ambitious, wasn't in a hurry to have kids, etc.---why, then rush marriage and fertility treatments, Kate? Did she marry him because she new she could control him? Because his Dad was a well-known, successful dentist in town? I don't know--but they chose each other--BOTH of them.

Of course with any family, especially with a large one, someone has to "steer the ship" and be organized. But you don't have to be a degrading bitch to get the job done. If you act like Captain Bligh--there's eventually gonna be a mutiny.

Gosselin Marriage in Shambles

What to say that hasn't already been said about this mess? The poor kids-- that's all I've been thinking. If even half of what has been asserted is true about their living conditions--filming and mommy and daddy separated but faking it for the cameras--constant fighting between the parents when they ARE together--I truly feel horrible for them.

Jon Gosselin's Naughty Boy Behavior

Oy. Jon Gosselin's recent photo of him leaving a bar is not, in itself, that incriminating. However, his recent behavior, taken as a whole, speaks volumes about the state of his marriage. There have been local rumors for months now about Jon being spotted at local bars, socializing with young women. A married man, should not, IMO be going out to what are basically "singles"/college bars and drinking with other women. Sure, go out once in a while with a male friend for a drink and maybe a bite to eat, or, go to movie, or play a round of golf and have lunch at the golf club--in other words, there are plenty of other ways to get out for some adult time without putting yourself in compromising situations.
The fact that a gossip magazine apparently was tipped off to the fact that Jon Gosselin would be at a certain bar, that Jon Gosselin frequents that bar in the company of other women illustrates the fact that his recent behavior was not an isolated incident. He is acting out, like a "naughty" little boy, instead of taking the bull by the horns and facing his issues. Either work on your marriage, or cut your losses and move on. Merely staying together for the kid's sake is no solution. Kids are better off coming FROM a broken home rather than living IN a broken home.
I'm not saying that Jon and Kate Gosselin should divorce--but work on their marriage first. Cut down on time spent away from each other and get out of the public eye--at least for a while--yes, take the hit financially for the sake of your marriage and your family.

Money and Happiness

Money and happiness are not mutually exclusive, nor are they mutually inclusive. They are two separate concepts. Now, I don't mean to insult those who are struggling financially or those who are truly living in poverty--money can make life easier--it can buy adequate food, clothing, shelter and medical care. I'm not saying money in and of itself is a bad thing. Not at all. It would be stupid and naive to discount the positive things that money can do.
However, the love of money and the endless pursuit of more-- as some sort of search for the holy grail of happiness--is not, IMO, a fruitful way to spend one's life. Can money buy you true, sincere love? Can money bring back a deceased loved one? Can money buy you (real) lasting friendship? Can money buy you inner peace and spiritual contentment? No, no, no and nope.

The short story, "The Rocking Horse Winner," by D.H. Lawrence illustrates the pitfalls of greed and the endless pursuit of "more money."
Also, the short story "The Monkey's Paw," by W. W. Jacobs is a good example of the the saying "be careful what you wish for."
There is no magic bullet for happiness and contentment in this life. It is a personal journey that each one of us must make internally and spiritually.

Reality Shmality

OK, so I happened to catch some of "The Hills" last night on MTV--don't ask me why, but as I was flipping channels, I saw Spencer Pratt's mug and thought, what is this little d-bag up to now?
No, I don't usually watch the show--my daughter sometimes does and I have caught snippets of it and asked her, "Why are you watching this stuff?"
Anyway, I saw a fight break out between Spencer and another guy on the show at a bar. Spencer punched the other guy, and bouncers broke it up. I thought, "Isn't it illegal to hit someone? Why are no police showing up?" It may be a misdemeanor, but the last time I looked, assault and battery were still criminal acts. I looked it up, and yep, in the state of CA, assault (intent or threat to physically harm someone) and battery (actually physically causing harm) ARE crimes, punishable by fines and/or time in county jail. There is video of the incident. How come no one was charged??? WTF?
Online it has been reported that the guy (Cameron) that was punched was asked by the producers of "The Hills" to provoke Spencer and was told that Spencer knew about it and it was all "for the show." Well, apparently NOT. Spencer allegedly was not told of the setup. Now the guy wants to sue the producers of "The Hills." OK--so sue--but what about the responsible party, SPENCER? He did the crime--HE should be held accountable as well.
What is it with so-called reality TV trying to create situations that might end up with someone getting hurt? And, do we really like to watch other people getting pissed off at each other? Is this what our "entertainment" has been reduced to?
The producers of these shows are "pot-stirrers"-- they sometimes agitate situations for better TV. Reality TV may be unscripted, but it certainly is not a documentary medium.
In REAL reality, punching someone has consequences, especially if their are witnesses/video. Also, what's with some of these shows showing underage drinking--or underage people out partying at clubs, where the usual policy is "No one under the age of 21 permitted"? MTV shows have numerous examples of cast members under the age of 21 out at bars and clubs. Even if it is argued that said cast members are not drinking, what kind of message does that send to the younger viewers?

Uggghh--Season Five is Still Alive--The Gosselin Saga Continues

Big surprise--Jon and Kate Gosselin signed up for yet another season of exploiting their kids. Did anyone ever doubt it? Jon's complaining and Mady's acting out are no match for the lure of easy money and the steamroller that is Kate Gosselin!
Kate reminds me a little of my mother-in-law. If you do not want to do something, you can tell her "No" repeatedly, but the next time she has the opportunity, she'll work on you some more. She'll pretend to drop the subject and pretend to respect your feelings, all the while taking a different tack to get you to do what she wants. And she is not above using guilt or bribery. After a while, you usually end up acquiescing just to end it. Then later, I usually feel manipulated and resentful.
Don't get me wrong, my MIL is a good person. She also is a nurse (lol). She has accomplished much in her life and is a loving mother and grandmother. While I do not always see eye-to-eye with her--I would never come between her and her son or my kids. However, as I have gotten older, I have learned to stand my ground on matters that are important to me. She may think I'm being unreasonable or bitchy--but, oh well--too bad. If you don't stand up to someone like that--they'll roll right over you. People like that will keep on trying to control you unless you take a firm stand. I've had to be as stubborn as a mule sometimes to make my point--it's not easy if, like me, you don't like confrontation. But in time she's (somewhat) learned what will not fly with me--no matter how much she tries. I can now even joke a little with her and say laughingly "That's not gonna happen," when she suggests something that's out of the question.

So, if Jon Gosselin did not want to do another season and got "talked" into it--I can kind of understand how that happened. He might have gotten badgered, brow-beaten, guilted, and manipulated into signing on again--"Do it for your kids! C'mon, we'll get a free trip to Korea(?)--when would we ever be able to do that on our own?! We need to make more money for eight, EIGHT kids to go to college! What about our retirement?! Don't be selfish!" ... and so on.

But if Jon Gosselin ever wants an equal say in the matters of his marriage and family, he's gonna have to bite the bullet and take a stand one day. It won't be easy and it won't be pretty--but his self -respect will increase tremendously. His wife and his kids will eventually come to respect him more as well. Even if Kate pitches the mother of all fits and makes his life miserable--she will eventually have to accept some of Jon's decisions if she wants to make the marriage work--and hasn't she said "We'll be together forever"? Or was that "As long as you do what I say, Jon"?